That's less than 1/4 what I had hoped to remove.
So I'm learning that (a) this is hard and (b) I'm really not certain that I can operate in a format this small. This is such a very small story, with only 2 characters and a hell of a lot of tell instead of show to keep it snappy. And I'm still straining hard to get below 3600 words.
Originally posted at http://jorhett.dreamwidth.org/6865.html. You can comment there using OpenID, or here if you prefer.