March 28th, 2013

Here I go, trying to kill my puppy.

Last night, saddened by yesterday's revelations, I went to sleep on the couch with Eddie curled up on the blanket between my legs and her head on my belly -- her favorite way to sleep. I don't do this often enough, and I have no idea how many times I'll get to do it again.

I woke around 2:30am to find that somehow the blanket had left me and wrapped up Eddie in a burrito. Her tongue was hanging half a mile out of her mouth and she was panting her heart out. She was clearly overheated. But she wouldn't leave me, wouldn't jump down. I finally lifted her up (hard from underneath) and got her clear of the blanket and we ran together out to the yard. She stood for like 20 minutes just drinking in the cool air outside.

I think most nights I would be irritated that she wouldn't come back in, but I went outside and sat with her in the cool air. Just drinking the moment in.

Eddie has Lymphoma of the GI-track

This is good. The best news in days. The cancer is in her Duodenum, the entry point to the intestines which collects from the stomach, liver, and bile ducts. They were afraid it was the more common Adenocarcinoma which does not respond to chemo. However, Lymphoma does respond to chemo very well.

It's not easy--chemo isn't fun for anyone, and Eddie is weak enough that it might kill her. But the doctors are sounding much happier, much more certain that Edie might survive this.

Nothing is for certain except for death, and Eddie isn't a young puppy. But I like odds which have possible good outcomes, and I'm willing to sieze upon this hope.